Loss
is brutal. It breaks you…into little pieces. I have been broken thrice…first by
Shekhar’s sudden departure, two years later by Mom’s and two weeks after her,
my father-in-law. The toll has been exponential…it is now coming up to six
years since Shekhar, during which time I have felt victimized, emotionally
mugged and physically bruised…with a reduced field of vision and a remarkably
constricted scale of life. I have focused only on the next moment, the next
step, the next action, the next…the next…until at the five year mark, I looked
up. I am glad I did.
In
January of 2013, I entered the Passions Contest of Mills & Boon India with
a very brief first chapter of a romance novel, not for a moment thinking that
my truncated writing would stand a chance in the competition. I made the top
three and as a part of the reward, won a mentoring opportunity with the UK
editors of Harlequin… A six month struggle to write romance while toggling my
core writing on development later, my editor sent me a mail that made looking
up worth it... They liked the manuscript. They would publish it in a two-book
deal! For the first time in years, I felt like a wanted child of the universe.
Now,
as the book hits the shelves* this week…I am setting it free to travel on its
karmic journey…it is symbolic of my own traverse up the mountain of grief and
down the other side. That’s the insight, there
is the other side…but more important is the realization that I am a wanted
child of the universe and…someone up there definitely loves me…
In
January of 2013, I entered the Passions Contest of Mills & Boon India with
a very brief first chapter of a romance novel, not for a moment thinking that
my truncated writing would stand a chance in the competition. I made the top
three and as a part of the reward, won a mentoring opportunity with the UK
editors of Harlequin… A six month struggle to write romance while toggling my
core writing on development later, my editor sent me a mail that made looking
up worth it... They liked the manuscript. They would publish it in a two-book
deal! For the first time in years, I felt like a wanted child of the universe.Now,
as the book hits the shelves* this week…I am setting it free to travel on its
karmic journey…it is symbolic of my own traverse up the mountain of grief and
down the other side. That’s the insight, there
is the other side…but more important is the realization that I am a wanted
child of the universe and…someone up there definitely loves me…
Here’s
raising a toast to romancing the night…Shekhar, Mom, Dad…I hope you’ll join me.
Salud!
Cheers! Chin, Chin!
*The book is available online at Harlequin India , Infibeam and Flipkart and will hit bookshelves across India
in the coming week.
***
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Invictus by William Ernest Henley
