In a recent interview, Tom Hanks spoke of how he searched for a vocabulary for what was rattling around in his head as a teenager. This search and finding its expression is what took him from figuring out what was interesting in life to a yearning to be an artist. Without realizing it, I am beginning to see that the boys and I have been doing the same.
Throughout my life, my lexicon has helped me string words together to manifest thoughts and emotions. When at a loss for words, I have used art…a non-verbal means of bringing the inside to the outside. In the years since Shekhar, the semantics of my grief have translated into this blog, the wordless yearning to be an artist somewhat sublimated in its articulation. Then I started writing again. My adventure in writing romance has now got a fillip with the launch of my second romance novel, Perfect Landing.
Our older boy, who is an inspiration to us all, has used music as his vocabulary. His true musical journey began as a tribute to Shekhar and a means to process his grief. Over the past six years, he has built up a repository of compositions from his soul in lyrical poetry of both word and sound.
The biggest surprise has been our younger boy, who has found a sudden talent for rap! He brings fairy tales to life in witty rhymes. His father would have envied his clever use of language at the speed of thought.
Who would have thought that eventually all three of us would find refuge in words? Initially, they were just a means to express our differing grief. They have now taken a new meaning – our individual expression of the yearning to be an artist. In a way, it is our vocabulary of homage to our eudaemon, the one who gave us the reason. It makes me wonder if Shekhar had not left so soon…or whether he has at all.
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.