In a recent interview, Tom
Hanks spoke of how he searched for a vocabulary for what was rattling around in
his head as a teenager. This search and finding its expression is what took him
from figuring out what was interesting in life to a yearning to be an artist. Without
realizing it, I am beginning to see that the boys and I have been doing the
same.
Throughout my life, my
lexicon has helped me string words together to manifest thoughts and emotions.
When at a loss for words, I have used art…a non-verbal means of bringing the
inside to the outside. In the years since Shekhar, the semantics of my grief
have translated into this blog, the wordless yearning to be an artist somewhat
sublimated in its articulation. Then I started writing again. My adventure in writing
romance has now got a fillip with the launch of my second romance novel, Perfect Landing.
Our
older boy, who is an inspiration to us
all, has used music as his vocabulary. His true musical journey began as a
tribute to Shekhar and a means to process his grief. Over the past six years,
he has built up a repository of compositions from his soul in lyrical poetry of
both word and sound.
The
biggest surprise has been our younger boy, who has found a sudden talent
for rap! He brings fairy tales to life in witty rhymes. His father would have
envied his clever use of language at the speed of thought.
Who
would have thought that eventually all three of us would find refuge in words?
Initially, they were just a means to express our differing grief. They have now
taken a new meaning – our individual expression of the yearning to be an
artist. In a way, it is our vocabulary of homage to our eudaemon, the one who gave us the
reason. It makes me wonder if Shekhar had not left so soon…or whether he has at
all.
***
Today,
like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don’t open the door to
the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let
the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss
the ground.
Jalaluddin Rumi
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