We go through life pushing ourselves to achieve and accomplish...goals, dreams, milestones. When we are weak, we look outside ourselves for someone to motivate us, believe in us...be our champion.
I recently saw a popular British comedian push himself beyond his physical limitations on television. As his feet dragged and energy flagged towards the end, family and cheering supporters egged him on. His triumph over physical odds would not have been possible had he not outsourced his motivation to those who believed he could do it. He drank from the well of their strength, support and belief. I used to drink from the well of Shekhar's belief in me. He saw in me what I could not see...he was my champion, my motivator, the one who helped me overcome what he liked to call my 'ignition problems.'
I also outsourced my prayers to my mother. She had a better connect with God and made my case to Him when I could not. She spent long hours communing with God, sharing, requesting, cajoling, begging on our behalf - for our success, our happiness, our place in the world. It was enough for me to know I always had someone in my corner - no questions asked. That she had God on her side was just a bonus. When I found her letters among old photographs the other day, her prayers and blessings floated off the yellowed pages.
These were my people.
Today, as we began the akhand path to mark Shekhar's fourth death anniversary on April 19, I missed my mother standing by my side, praying for me and my children. I missed drawing on Shekhar's strength. God has taken my people.
I have now decided to bypass the physical and directly outsource my strength, motivation and prayer to God. Although I struggle to trust Him again, He has brought me this far...it is time to let go and let God.
I recently saw a popular British comedian push himself beyond his physical limitations on television. As his feet dragged and energy flagged towards the end, family and cheering supporters egged him on. His triumph over physical odds would not have been possible had he not outsourced his motivation to those who believed he could do it. He drank from the well of their strength, support and belief. I used to drink from the well of Shekhar's belief in me. He saw in me what I could not see...he was my champion, my motivator, the one who helped me overcome what he liked to call my 'ignition problems.'
These were my people.
Today, as we began the akhand path to mark Shekhar's fourth death anniversary on April 19, I missed my mother standing by my side, praying for me and my children. I missed drawing on Shekhar's strength. God has taken my people.
I have now decided to bypass the physical and directly outsource my strength, motivation and prayer to God. Although I struggle to trust Him again, He has brought me this far...it is time to let go and let God.
***
Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones. And when you have finished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
Victor Hugo
How can He be perfect?
Everything He ever makes...dies!
George Carlin
"God has taken my people."
ReplyDeleteamen. I know that one well.
I'm not one of your people, and I don't know how much sway I have with God, but I will send out prayers for peace for you in these anniversary days.
Thank you, Megan...
ReplyDeleteWhen you could see only one set of footprints, Jyoti, God was carrying you through and He will take you into the future. God bless you - I know that He will. Hazel x
ReplyDeleteI think an essence of them is always with you and so you haven't broken down and so you find ways to find hope and strength and you get that in the quest I think.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite band's named their album as- Nothing Lasts But Nothing is Lost. It's so true.